My aunt died this week. I knew it was coming; I saw her in January when I went out to Iowa for my mother’s funeral and I could see her health was failing. Other than my father’s funeral five years ago, I hadn’t spent any real time back to Iowa in literally decades, and what […]
Gold dust woman.
TRIGGER WARNING: Physical and sexual abuse, themes of dominance and control It’s been two months since my mother died. Almost two months since I drove to Iowa and stood at her graveside in a small cemetery on a hill overlooking empty winter fields, listening to a kindly rented pastor eulogize my mother’s life, mispronounce her […]
It’s a good plan, Brent.
I had a plan this morning. It was a good plan. It was a responsible plan. It was a plan to maximize time, a plan to get away and do a bit of restful recovery. I have been doing responsible life things for a while now but secretly living for that plan. Then two things […]
Reclaiming my domain.
Hi. My name is Robin, and you used to know me. (Hi, Robin.) The year started out like any other, but then life happened. Normally I’m able to roll with the punches but in March, I lost my faithful companion LoveJunkie. As silly as it might sound, that broke me at my very core, and […]
Wanting.
It’s been eight weeks to the day since I knew something was desperately wrong. In 48 hours, she was gone. I am still a hot mess. I want to be able to write about her. I want to be able to remember the warmth of her body nestled into the curve of mine. I want […]
Girding my loins.
My mother, it seems, is dying. For those of you who know me, this is a very loaded sentence. Like, minefield loaded. Like, supersaturated solution loaded. Like, cruise ship buffet table loaded. No matter how you slice it, no matter which way you approach it, this is pretty much a raging river of emotions and […]
Learning to share.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. The trifecta of family holidays in our home. For over 25 years, these are the days where I roll up my sleeves and dive headfirst into the kitchen where I simmer, roast, steam, and bake with gusto, just like my father used to do when I was growing up. Those were […]
New life in stillness.
It’s finally spring. I’m finally cleaning. My house, much like most of my life, has been in an upheaval and it has taking this long for me to give a damn and do something about it. I am not kidding when I say there’s no place where I haven’t let things go. My books. My […]
A series of unfortunate events.
It’s been 16 weeks to the day since my son was hit by an SUV while riding his bike to class on his first day as a Penn State freshman. In that time, a college semester has started and ended. Late summer has worked its way through autumn and into the first real snow of winter. […]
Collapse and think and remember and thank.
This has been one hell of a two month sprint. My timecards show me out more than I’ve been in. My Asana dashboard consistently, insistently shows me multiple tasks overdue. I’m hit and miss on email because Slack keeps me hopping on the critical tasks that need to be addressed. I’ve even taken to saving my […]
On impact.
I wouldn’t describe myself as a cautious person, but I’ve always had a healthy respect for automobiles — especially in a college town where pedestrians and cyclists play their own version of Frogger every day. It’s almost too easy to think of downtown as an extension of campus. but when students walk right into the street […]
